AG's new BeForever Mysteries, aka Ex-Lax for Kids

Well, it's been a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong while since I updated this blog, and as per a suggestion from a friend of mine, I thought maybe I could at least breathe in some new life into this.

Just recently an online book store has leaked what appears to be covers for the BeForever'd versions of American Girl's historical mystery books, plus new ones to go along with it. Some of it is more or less OK, but the way they pulled it off just goes to show how messed up AG has become, and how it's a stark contrast to what we know and love about the company. TBH I'm a relative newcomer to the franchise compared to veteran collectors out there, but I can see the effort Pleasant Rowland and her crew pulled off. Sure enough, you can tell that the reason for this rabid girlish-ness has to do with trends and their ways to appeal to the target market, but for starters it's just plain wrong for Kit to have a Gymboree dress or two, and as a subtle nitpick of mine, Velcro-strapped Mary Janes and what appears to be foam padding around the back ankle.

Anyway, on to my observations of the new mystery books:

The dress looks ok-ish, but was it just me or do I picture this on a loading screen for the next Grand Theft Auto game, save for replacing the trumpet with a rifle or something? *cue GTA V loading music*

"I crapped in the back and shit my pants," ~ King Leonidas

Another textbook case of a fartface.

It's just some random nine-year old wearing a modern bed outfit and wandering in a forest because her parents said so. Boy that would give Child Protection Services one heck of a field day.

You're not a Vulcan, Kaya.
 
Sorry if this sounds a little crude or outright demeaning, but I just can't help but either poke fun at, or outright criticise what I view as a rather messed up take at children's historical fiction. You're supposed to present it in an appealing yet accurate way, not sprinkle it with too much pink and ruffles and throw up an excuse for it.

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